The chronic illness thief

I want to apologize for not posting and commenting as much as I used to. I have been going through a rough patch in my life. Unfortunately I have been dealing with flare ups due to my fibromyalgia and bulging, herniated discs that has taken it’s toll physically and mentally. I am hoping that this post explains a little bit about what life is like with chronic pain…especially when certain individuals don’t believe you.

I can’t imagine anyone relishing the idea of being tired, in pain, or suffering from “brain fog” for one day, let alone for months or years. If you have fibromyalgia, this is what you experience on a regular basis. Yet there are people who believe that fibromyalgia doesn’t exist – that it’s a made-up disease with the purpose of appeasing patients, giving their complaints a name.

Incidences of muscle pains characteristic of modern-day fibromyalgia have been documented for centuries, but only in the 1970’s did the disease begin receiving serious attention as physicians began to better identify trigger points, inflammation, and fibromyalgia-associated issues such as sleep disorders and irritable bowel. And only in 1987 did the American Medical Association recognize fibromyalgia as “an emerging condition.” But saying it’s a disease and convincing non-believers are two different things.

I’ve been asked what it’s like to have fibromyalgia and, just as it’s difficult to diagnose, it’s difficult to explain. I was diagnosed years ago, I can even trace the symptoms to my teens. I often experienced unexplained bouts of exhaustion and pain. I never slept well. I had other fibromyalgia-related physical issues, but no one could figure out what was wrong. After a while, I began to believe that it was all in my head. I knew I felt the pain, but there was no explanation. I knew I was exhausted, but everyone is tired – why would I be any different? The other symptoms? I was overplaying them, complaining too much, imagining them, looking for attention, wasn’t I?

My family and close friends were (and still are) wonderful. They never made me believe that I shouldn’t be feeling what I was experiencing. They tolerated my quirks, such as the hypersensitivity that results in a very strong startle reflex and not being able to stand the feel of certain things against my skin. (It wouldn’t surprise me if the princess in fairy tale The Princess and the Pea had fibromyalgia!) My husband, my children, my friends, all helped me when the pain was bad and the exhaustion overwhelming. But feeling so different and not knowing why takes a toll on a person.

 ~MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU~

Just live, make mistakes

“People screw up. People screw up a lot. We allow our own selfishness to overpower us at times. It happens. But you can’t allow that to tear you down. You can’t keep dwelling on your past choices, and your past actions, or else you’ll never learn from them.”
~ Nicole Sobon~

Wisdom from Einstein

A human being is a part of the whole, called by us “Universe”, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security.

The strength I never had

 

When the pain ended and the last tears fell, 
And I got out of my living and bitter hell, 
I found a strength as strong as steel, 
This strength I found is surely real.

I found a strength to hold onto, 
To help me out, 
To make it through, 
This strength I found deep inside, 
From this strength I will not hide.

I will carry it with me night and day, 
This strength sure does have a way, 
Of cheering me and making me glad, 
I found the strength I one time didn’t have.

My children are my strength!

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/rare-medium/

Never stop learning and speak up!

 

What is Life Long Learning?  Simply, I believe it is the consistent and deep engagement of the mind and body in the active pursuit of knowledge and experience from birth to death. Learning is important because it helps us make informed choices about our own lives and the societies that we live in. It also enables us observe the results and include the feedback into new initiatives. Youth of a Nation has posted topics on Chronic pain, several mental health issues, children’s disabilities, and parenting. As I have said from the beginning, I want this to be an open blog which means your input is more than welcome. I want to learn from you as well.  Youth of a Nation would like some feedback from the community to get an idea about the sort of things you would like to read in our blog posts. My question to you is: are there any topics in particular you would like to see posted in the blog? Are there other categories of articles (besides the ones mentioned above) which we need to focus on more? Maybe you would like to be a guest blogger and write something you would like to contribute. If you are interested in giving a little of your knowledge or just want to share a picture, poem, quote etc…please email me. I would like to thank my followers for supporting me. You all have amazing blogs yourself. I learn from you each and everyday. 

Do I Think I Am The Poster Boy For Depression?

 

I am definitely not. (This question was actually asked of me by a reader.) Who is?

Is it Jesmyn Ward, award-winning novelist who beautifully depicts depression and her intimately personal losses in life alongside the harsh poverty and racism that still exists in her neighborhood today?

Is it James Altucher, the well-educated millionaire entrepreneur  who went bankrupt, lost his family, business, mind, and almost killed himself before finding a new path to happiness?

Is it Andrew Solomon, who wrote what I consider to be the definitive book on depression, both in the way that he divulges his own breakdown, and chronicles the history of the depression as it relates to all of us?

Is it one of the nine-hundred members of this Depression Awareness Community on Google+?

Wait – maybe the poster boy is not in that community. Maybe he or she is in one of the several hundred other communities that come up in search for ‘depression’ on G+.

Wait – I have to check Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as well.

Wait – I haven’t even begun to read all the books at the library on the topic.

Wait – who goes to the library? There are 32,828 books  tagged ‘depression’ on Amazon to read.

Or, maybe it’s not even any one of the thousands who have written about it. Maybe it’s a young boy, sitting at home, who’s never read or written a single word about it.

Kind of like me twenty years ago.

Will Smith once said that any problem that you are having, has been had before. It’s been written about before, and someone who lived before your time has been through something similar.

The point being that there is help, advice, and guidance available if you look for it. Except depressed people, they generally don’t go around looking for help.

I am not the poster boy for depression. No one person is. If anything, it’s the opposite. We all are.

Depression affects us all whether you agree with me or not. If it never affects you directly, it will to somebody you know. It has been around since before Christ and it is not going away.

“Depression is the flaw in love.” – Andrew Solomon, Noonday Demon

We all want to be loved and to love. If depression is the flaw in love, we should be aware of it.

A poster is a piece of paper that you walk by, and whatever it says, it catches your eye, whether you were looking for it, or not.

I’m not the poster boy. I’m just putting up a few more posters for the next boy.

~ I would like to personally thank Matt Fried for his guest blog. I think that it is a wonderful introduction of more great posts from him to come in the future. Thank you again for caring enough to help others on their journey through life. The more we learn the better. Here is Matt’s blog  friedsblog.com Check it out! Stay Strong everyone~

Mistakes are past news

Sometimes…
Sometimes doubt is the opposite of faith, but sometimes doubt can be a pathway to faith.
Sometimes weakness is the opposite of strength, but sometimes weakness can be the pathway to strength.
Sometimes addiction is the opposite of sobriety, but sometimes addiction can be the pathway to sobriety.
Sometimes infidelity is the opposite of fidelity, but sometimes infidelity can be a pathway to fidelity.
Sometimes failure is the opposite of success, but sometimes failure can be the pathway to success.

Some of us learn from our past mistakes and some don’t, but for the people who have…HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH! For the people who haven’t…THERE IS STILL TIME.

~Stay Strong~

DarcSunshine

Racism…really?

I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality… I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.
Martin Luther King, Jr. 

Racism isn’t born, folks, it’s taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.
Denis Leary 

Racism springs from the lie that certain human beings are less than fully human. It’s a self-centered falsehood that corrupts our minds into believing we are right to treat others as we would not want to be treated.
Alveda King 
 

How depression feels

Mental Gems: Diamonds in the Rough

How do you avoid negative people? Negative people are the ones that will probably leave you with feelings of doubt, pangs of guilt, or take away from your self-worth. They definitely can trigger our mental illness symptoms. 

No matter who is negative in your life, if their talks are depleting you of your mental energy, and sapping your hopes, they are not good for you. So be on your guard, build a stronger mental base so you are not effected as much by their discouraging opinions and talks.

• Negative people can spread their depressing outlook – it tends to be contagious. If you spend too much time around them, loved ones will start to notice a downward trend in your behavior and outlook. If this happens, remember to take ‘breaks’ from them when you need to spend a long period of time with them.
• Try making new friends with positive and enthusiastic people – you find them everywhere! If you need other uplifting things to do, try doing community service or helping others to get that warm fuzzy feeling. Religious groups are often a source of hope. Learn something new. Try yoga or meditation: focus on the good.
• Negativity has its base in the negative emotion of fear. Banish fear, discard it, uproot it and throw it out of your life. Negativity is created by the media, so avoid watching too much of television, listening to radio news, or discussing depressing world events with people.
• Change your pattern of thinking and see that people will get more attracted to you. Maintaining a positive attitude will not only increase your popularity, but will also bring more positivity in your life.

To add to this Mental Gem, my daughter will be writing a post about “teen drama” and how to stay away from it later on.

~Stay Strong~

DarcSunshine

Believe in yourself

Mental Gems: Diamonds in the Rough

Posted on November 4, 2013 by Amethyst

You know, sometimes you screw up.  Sometimes you are going to fail.  Sometimes life is going to crush you and you are going to buckle under the pressure.

And it’s ok.

The amazing thing about humans is how resilient we are.  We can crumble and be smushed and ripped apart and then we can pick ourselves up and keep on walking.  Yes.  We have the ability to keep going.  And it’s so important.  It’s so important to remember that YOU CAN KEEP GOING.

It’s ok to fail!  Just keep going.  Look depression in the face and say, “You will not stop me.  You can slow me down but I will keep going!”

Take THAT depression!

– Amethyst

Tips to help you start a good day!

• 1 Go to bed at a reasonable hour. To be cheerful in the morning one must get enough sleep.
• 2 Make sure your room is dark enough to get a good night’s sleep. Any slight bit of light may cause the mind to go into awake mode.
• 3 Avoid stress before bedtime. Do not watch the late news right before bedtime. The negativity of the news is not conducive to a good night’s rest
• 4 Get ready for the next morning before you go to sleep. Get your outfit ready, and handle any chores that must be done before you leave in the morning. You will sleep better and wake up more cheerful knowing that you will have a calm, organized morning.
• 5 Take a few minutes to write in a gratitude journal before bedtime. Reflecting on what made you happy or feel good during the day helps your mind move to a place of gratitude and joy. Drifting off to sleep in this mood helps set the tone for good sleep and a cheerful morning

A few things to remember:

• Stick to a regular bed time to ensure you sleep well.
• Avoid nicotine and caffeine before bedtime
• Start to calm the home well before bedtime. Turn off bright lights and turn off the TV

 ~Stay Strong Today~

ADHD: Parenting advice

I’m not going to lie and say it is a picnic in the park raising a child with ADHD . It can be very challenging and hard at times. Although he was not diagnosed with ADHD until he was older, there were times I was pulling my hair out. No discipline seemed to be that effective with him.I had very little outside support. Some of thenay-sayers would say that I just wasn’t a good parent or that I didn’t have control over my child. Some would tell me, “why don’t you just spank him, that would fix him”. There are many people in this world that just don’t understand because they do not educaute themselves. If you have someone important to you that is going through this, please take the time to do a little research about ADHD so you can be there for your loved ones.The good news is that things are a lot better when it comes to my son. The bad news is that I am occasionally still pulling my hair out due to lack of sleep, etc.

Tips for Stay at Home

Here are something things that I have learned over the years that sort of relieve the pressures and stress of staying home with a child who has ADHD.

• Keep a schedule or routine: be flexible but have some predictability to your day.
• Go outside! It doesn’t even have to be outside, but leave your home. Go somewhere else. Getting fresh air or leaving your usual surroundings DOES help.
•   Enroll  your child in a preschool program. I am not talking about putting your child in a full time daycare. There are many churches or centers that do like a “mother’s morning out” type program. It’s usually 2-3 hours a couple of days a week. This really helped because there were times I just couldn’t take him to doctor appointments and concentrate at the same time. It also helps your child with socializing as well.
• If you can’t afford a preschool program, I highly recommend finding someone in your neighborhood or friend or family to help you get a breather.
• Yes, just turn the cartoon on! The television can be a bad thing if you let your child watch too much. However, there is nothing wrong (in my opinion) for a little while during the day so you can get some things done around the house.
• Have “quiet time”. Teach your child to play quietly in his room or read a book.
• Children with ADHD need to exercise! Get out and let them play or dance in your living room. Sign him up for a sport if the child is interested.
• Playing games with kids who have ADHD is a great way to work on their focusing, attention and listening skills. I’m not talking about video games, but board games. I have personally played most of these games with my children and find that they work well. This is a growing list, and I will republish when I update it.

Games for Kids with ADHD or ADD

1. Original Memory: This game requires the child to match pictures. The game begins with all the pictures upside down. The child turns over two cards and if they don’t match, he turns them back over. He continues until all the cards are matched. This game requires the child to pay attention! 
2. Guess Who?: Remember this game? I have the older version, but I plan to buy the newer version this Christmas. Guess Who? is a game that requires the child to use critical thinking skills. The reason I find this game interesting and useful for ADHD is because my son really has to think about what I am saying to him. Let me explain. For example, he will ask me, “mom is your person a boy?”. Let’s say my card is a girl, I will say, “no”. This means he has to close the cards that are boys. He gets stumped every time and has messed up a few games because he closes the wrong cards. In this case, he might close the girls instead, which he should have turned over the boys.
3. Monopoly: If your child is young, you might assume this game is too difficult. I think that your child will love to play this game no matter how young! There are Monopoly Junior versions available also, which are still loads of fun. Monopoly is a long and intensive game. I think this game actually helps focus attention assuming the child likes the game.
4. Qwirkle Board Game: I have never played this game before, but after reading the Amazon reviews, it sounds like a great game for the younger kids. Many kids who have ADHD are great at strategy games, and this is suppose to be a great strategy game.
5. Checkers or Chess: My son gets a little frustrated with Checkers, but some kids love it.
6. Scrabble: This game is good for older children as well as younger children who are learning how to spell. In fact, it’s probably great practice to help kids who are learning to read.

Do you have any extra tips for parents with children who have been diagnosed with ADHD?

Strength Lies in all of us

Eleanor Roosevelt said, you gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience which you stop to look fear in the face. Then you’re able to say I lived through this horror. I can take on the next thing that comes along. Take chances! Tell the truth. Find the good in everything. Be random. Fall in love. Cry. Say you’re sorry. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Always give more than you take. Enjoy every single minute of your life. Never take a single moment for granted.

Good Books: Reading between the lines

Prozac Nation

by Elizabeth Wurtzel

rating details  ·  29,399 ratings  ·  1,132 reviews

A harrowing story of breakdowns, suicide attempts, drug therapy, and an eventual journey back to living, this poignant and often hilarious book gives voice to the high incidence of depression among America’s youth. A collective cry for help from a generation who have come of age entrenched in the culture of divorce, economic instability, and AIDS, here is the intensely personal story of a young girl full of promise, whose mood swings have risen and fallen like the lines of a sad ballad.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

by Stephen Chbosky

 rating details  ·  348,512 ratings  ·  26,514 reviews

Charlie is a freshman.And while he’s not the biggest geek in the school, he is by no means popular. Shy, introspective, intelligent beyond his years yet socially awkward, he is a wallflower, caught between trying to live his life and trying to run from it.

Charlie is attempting to navigate his way through uncharted territory: the world of first dates and mix tapes, family dramas and new friends; the world of sex, drugs, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show, when all one requires is that perfect song on that perfect drive to feel infinite. But he can’t stay on the sideline forever. Standing on the fringes of life offers a unique perspective. But there comes a time to see what it looks like from the dance floor.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a deeply affecting coming-of-age story that will spirit you back to those wild and poignant roller-coaster days known as growing up.

Madness: A Bipolar Life

by Marya Hornbacherrating details  ·  5,058 ratings  ·  426 reviews

An astonishing dispatch from inside the belly of bipolar disorder, reflecting major new insights

When Marya Hornbacher published her first book, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia, she did not yet have the piece of shattering knowledge that would finally make sense of the chaos of her life. At age twenty-four, Hornbacher was diagnosed with Type I rapid-cycle bipolar, the most severe form of bipolar disorder.

In Madness, in her trademark wry and utterly self-revealing voice, Hornbacher tells her new story. Through scenes of astonishing visceral and emotional power, she takes us inside her own desperate attempts to counteract violently careening mood swings by self-starvation, substance abuse, numbing sex, and self-mutilation. How Hornbacher fights her way up from a madness that all but destroys her, and what it is like to live in a difficult and sometimes beautiful life and marriage — where bipolar always beckons — is at the center of this brave and heart-stopping memoir.

Madness delivers the revelation that Hornbacher is not alone: millions of people in America today are struggling with a variety of disorders that may disguise their bipolar disease. And Hornbacher’s fiercely self-aware portrait of her own bipolar as early as age four will powerfully change, too, the current debate on whether bipolar in children actually exists.

Ten years after Kay Redfield Jamison’s An Unquiet Mind, this storm of a memoir will revolutionize our understanding of bipolar disorder.

Sybil: The Classic True Story of a Woman Possessed by Sixteen Personalities

by Flora Rheta Schreiber

 rating details  ·  46,113 ratings  ·  909 reviews

Here is the unbelievable yet true story of Sybil Dorsett, a survivor of terrible childhood abuse who as an adult was a victim of sudden and mysterious blackouts. What happened during those blackouts has made Sybil’s experience one of the most famous psychological cases in the world.

Panic Attack Symptoms 

Pounding heart
Chest pains 
Lightheadedness or dizziness 
Nausea or stomach problems 
Flushes or chills 
Shortness of breath or a feeling of smothering or choking 
Tingling or numbness 
Shaking or trembling 
Feelings of unreality 
Terror 
A feeling of being out of control or going crazy 
Fear of dying 
Sweating 

People with panic disorder have feelings of terror that strike suddenly and repeatedly with no warning. They can’t predict when an attack will occur, and many develop intense anxiety between episodes, worrying when and where the next o­ne will strike. In between times there is a persistent, lingering worry that another attack could come any minute.

When a panic attack strikes, most likely your heart pounds and you may feel sweaty, weak, faint, or dizzy. Your hands may tingle or feel numb, and you might feel flushed or chilled. You may have chest pain or smothering sensations, a sense of unreality, or fear of impending doom or loss of control. You may genuinely believe you’re having a heart attack or stroke, losing your mind, or o­n the verge of death. Attacks can occur any time, even during nondream sleep. While most attacks average a couple of minutes, occasionally they can go o­n for up to 10 minutes. In rare cases, they may last an hour or more.

Panic disorder is often accompanied by other conditions such as depression or alcoholism, and may spawn phobias, which can develop in places or situations where panic attacks have occurred. For example, if a panic attack strikes while you’re riding an elevator, you may develop a fear of elevators and perhaps start avoiding them.

Some people’s lives become greatly restricted – they avoid normal, everyday activities such as grocery shopping, driving, or in some cases even leaving the house. Or, they may be able to confront a feared situation o­nly if accompanied by a spouse or other trusted person. Basically, they avoid any situation they fear would make them feel helpless if a panic attack occurs. When people’s lives become so restricted by the disorder, as happens in about o­ne-third of all people with panic disorder, the condition is called agoraphobia. A tendency toward panic disorder and agoraphobia runs in families. Nevertheless, early treatment of panic disorder can often stop the progression to agoraphobia.

Cognitive-behavioral approaches teach patients how to view the panic situations differently and demonstrate ways to reduce anxiety, using breathing exercises or techniques to refocus attention, for example. Another technique used in cognitive-behavioral therapy, called exposure therapy, can often help alleviate the phobias that may result from panic disorder. In exposure therapy, people are very slowly exposed to the fearful situation until they become desensitized to it.

Some people find the greatest relief from panic disorder symptoms when they take certain prescription medications. Such medications, like cognitive-behavioral therapy, can help to prevent panic attacks or reduce their frequency and severity. Two types of medications that have been shown to be safe and effective in the treatment of panic disorder are antidepressants and benzodiazepines.

Unfortunately I have experienced much of what we just talked about. I can not begin to tell you how it changed me during different periods of my life. I can honestly say that this has been one of the hardest things I have had to overcome. It’s a process. I hope you all find the type of treatment that works best for you. It is different for everyone.

~Stay strong~

4 Things You Shouldn’t Say To Someone Having A Panic Attack

Panic attacks send adrenaline all over your body. When I have one, my heart races and my hands shake like someone’s doing brain surgery on me while I’m awake. The rest of my body might shiver or tremble with little seizures. My arms sometimes feel numb etc…

Since I can’t control when and where they’ll occur, I have had everyone from my brother to my Fiance to assist me when I’m  panicking. Trying to help someone through a panic attack is really hard. I imagine seeing someone overcome with anxiety makes other people feel helpless and afraid. Should you rub their back? Should you sing to them? Should you call 911? It must be super difficult to know what to say. Here’s some hints about what you should not say to someone if you’re with them during a panic attack.

1. “You have nothing to be panicked about.”

We know. We know. We know. And because we know we have nothing to be panicked about, we panic even more. When I realize that my anxiety is unfounded, I panic even more because then I feel like I’m not in touch with reality. Scary.

Most of the time, a panic attack is irrational. Sometimes they stem from circumstances — a certain couch triggers a bad memory or being on an airplane makes you claustrophobic or a break up causes you to flip your lid — but mostly, the reasons I’m panicking are complex, hard to articulate or simply, unknown. I could tell myself all day that I have no reason to be having a panic attack and I would still be panicking. Sometimes, because I’m a perfectionist, I become even more overwhelmed when I think my behavior is “unacceptable” (as I often believe it is when I’m panicking). I know it’s all in my mind, but my mind can be a pretty dark and scary place when it gets going.

Alternate suggestion: Say, “I understand you’re upset. It is okay. You have a right to be upset and I am here to help.”

2. “Calm down.”

This reminds me of a MadTV sketch where Bob Newhart plays a therapist who tells his patients to simply “Stop it!” whenever they express anxiety or fear. As a sketch, it’s funny. In real life, it’s one of the worst things you can do to someone having a panic attack. When someone tells me to “stop panicking” or to “calm down,” I just think, “Oh, okay. I haven’t tried that one. Hold on, let me get out a pen and paper and jot that down, you jerk.”

One time, when I was having a particularly bad panic attack on an airplane, the stewardess came over and sharply told me that if I didn’t stop panicking, the plane would not be able to take off. On the one hand, she was right and I was a liability in the air. On the other hand, I then began panicking about how I was holding up the rest of the passengers. Her insensitivity worsened my condition. Instead of taking action so that they do relax, simply telling a panicking person to “calm down” or “stop it” does nothing.

Alternate suggestion: The best thing to do is to listen and support. In order to calm them down without the generalities, counting helps, repeating a verse of a song or anything for that matter…The repetition is comforting.

3. “I’m just going to leave you alone for a minute.”

Being left alone while panicking makes my heart race even harder. The last thing I want is to be left by myself with my troubled brain. Many of my panic attacks spark from over-thinking and it’s helpful to have another person with me, not only for medical reasons (in case I pass out or need water) but also it’s helpful to have another person around to force me to think about something other than the noise in my head.

Alternate suggestion: It sometimes helps me if the person I’m with distracts me by telling me a story or sings to me. I need to get out of my own head and think about something other than my own panic.

4. “You’re overreacting.”

Here’s the thing: I’m not. Panic attacks might be in my head, but I’m in actual physical pain. If you’d cut open your leg, no one would be telling you you’re overreacting. It’s a common trope in mental health to diminish the feelings or experience of someone suffering from anxiety or panic because there’s no visible physical ailment and because there’s no discernible reason for the person to be having such a strong fear reaction.

The worst thing you can tell someone who is panicking is that they are overreacting.

Alternate suggestion: Treat a panic attack like any other medical emergency. Listen to what the person is telling you. Get them water if they need it. It helps me if someone rubs my back a little. If you’re in over your head, don’t hesitate to call 911. But please, take the person seriously. Mental health deserves the same respect as physical health.

HealthShire.com Local & Online Mental Health Resources

HealthShire is an online mental health resource. They help patients find local mental health services and aid mental health professionals with marketing, mental health news and business support.

http://www.healthshire.com/

Parent Awareness

There are so many teens that feel this way and you may not even be aware. Lets talk to our children before it’s too late. Communication is key!