Depression and chronic pain go hand in hand

If you have chronic pain and depression, you’ve got plenty of company.That’s because chronic pain and depression are common problems that often overlap. Depression is one of the most common psychological issues facing people who suffer from chronic pain, and it often complicates the patient’s conditions and treatment. Pain, especially chronic pain, is an emotional condition as well as a physical sensation. It is a complex experience that affects thought, mood, and behavior and can lead to isolation, immobility, and drug dependence.

In those ways, it resembles depression, and the relationship is intimate. Pain is depressing, and depression causes and intensifies pain. People with chronic pain have three times the average risk of developing psychiatric symptoms — usually mood or anxiety disorders — and depressed patients have three times the average risk of developing chronic pain.

Because depression in patients with chronic pain frequently goes undiagnosed, it often goes untreated. Pain symptoms and complaints take center stage on most doctors’ visits. The result is depression, along with sleep disturbances, loss of appetite, lack of energy, and decreased physical activity which may make pain much worse. Let us spread the word so more individuals get treated correctly for both conditions!

“Chronic pain and depression go hand in hand”

http://www.survivingchronicpain.com/

Invisible illness

Acceptance of a chronic illness

Acceptance of a chronic illness can change on a day to day basis. There are bound to be some days where you feel good and try to think of ways that you can use this diagnosis to also benefit other people. And of course there are the bad days when you question why this has to happen to you and you just want to crawl back into bed until you have all of the answers. This is to be expected and is in no way abnormal or strange. We all have good days and bad, those of us with chronic illness and who are perfectly healthy. You simply at some point must choose who or what is going to win, you or the disease. After you make that decision, and hopefully you will choose to beat this, then you will find that you have far fewer of those days where you feel like the disease is going to win. We need support and acceptance from our family and friends to help us on our journey. 

“when we are ill it can be easy to think about who is and isn’t helping us, who is and is not serving us, who isn’t saying all the right things. Don’t get caught up in this circle of focusing on your SELF. Rather, consider what you can DO–even if you don’t feel well. Ironically, it will help you feel even better!”

~Lisa Copen~

Today I choose life

“Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.”

~Kevyn Aucoin~

A poem of pain

The Fight Like A Girl Club was formed to provide a welcoming place where women (men are welcome, too!)  battling cancer and other diseases, survivors, and loved ones can come together to share stories, experiences, hope, and encouragement with one another, a place where you can come to relax and devote time to yourself, a place where you feel accepted and cared about, a place to soothe your soul with meditations, poems, and inspirational quotes, to release your fears and anxieties through sharing and writing, to put your problems on the backburner while playing games and puzzles, to request Prayer from others who truly care, a place to
CLAIM YOUR POWER!

http://www.fightlikeagirlclub.com/

With life comes pain

Here are a few of the treasured insights I have received on the other side life’s tribulations. I hope they renew your strength, affirm that you are not alone, and shed a hopeful light on your dark moments.

Pain strengthens you. 

In order to build a muscle we lift the weight. But first there is a breaking and bleeding of the capillaries. The healing of the wound is what develops the muscle; injury precedes strength.

Pain refines you.

It takes pressure to make a diamond and fire to purify gold. Nothing cleanses the soul like a good cry. Tears wash away the impurities of fear and attachment and clear the channels for love to freely flow.

Pain lightens the load.

Growing up my mother would often say, “When you are down to nothing, life is up to something.”

Navigating painful moments can feel like squeezing yourself through a tight corridor. There is no room for excess baggage. At the peak of agony I have learned to let go of the “stuff” in my hands—my stories, my fears, my judgments—in order to hold on for dear life.

Pain qualifies you. 

Nothing qualifies a person to step up to a big vision for their life like pain. When I count the cost of the rejection and disappointments endured on the journey to living my dreams, it creates a worthiness and grounded resolve that my toughest critics cannot chip away.

Pain connects you.

One tragedy unites people in a far deeper way than a thousand moments of laughter. Falling apart independently and collectively healing has launched powerful, life-changing movements like Mothers Against Drunk Driving (M.A.D.D.). Pain becomes purpose when it is shared.

Like the peaks and falls on a heart monitor, the valley low moments are just as much a confirmation of life as the mountain highs. Lean into pain’s sting. Allow yourself to be placed on its potter’s wheel and transformed into all you can ever hope to be and more.

Remember, life is never happening to you, it is always happening for you. Always

~DarcSunshine~

Everyday is a fight with Chronic pain

“Pain was not given thee merely to be miserable under; learn from it, turn it to account.” – Thomas Carlyle

When one is in very great pain and fear, it is extremely difficult to pray coherently, and I could only raise my mind in anguish to God and ask for strength to hold on.” – Sheila Cassidy

Whomever said, “No Pain, No Gain” never had chronic pain! by Amanda Lakso (ME)

The chronic illness thief

I want to apologize for not posting and commenting as much as I used to. I have been going through a rough patch in my life. Unfortunately I have been dealing with flare ups due to my fibromyalgia and bulging, herniated discs that has taken it’s toll physically and mentally. I am hoping that this post explains a little bit about what life is like with chronic pain…especially when certain individuals don’t believe you.

I can’t imagine anyone relishing the idea of being tired, in pain, or suffering from “brain fog” for one day, let alone for months or years. If you have fibromyalgia, this is what you experience on a regular basis. Yet there are people who believe that fibromyalgia doesn’t exist – that it’s a made-up disease with the purpose of appeasing patients, giving their complaints a name.

Incidences of muscle pains characteristic of modern-day fibromyalgia have been documented for centuries, but only in the 1970’s did the disease begin receiving serious attention as physicians began to better identify trigger points, inflammation, and fibromyalgia-associated issues such as sleep disorders and irritable bowel. And only in 1987 did the American Medical Association recognize fibromyalgia as “an emerging condition.” But saying it’s a disease and convincing non-believers are two different things.

I’ve been asked what it’s like to have fibromyalgia and, just as it’s difficult to diagnose, it’s difficult to explain. I was diagnosed years ago, I can even trace the symptoms to my teens. I often experienced unexplained bouts of exhaustion and pain. I never slept well. I had other fibromyalgia-related physical issues, but no one could figure out what was wrong. After a while, I began to believe that it was all in my head. I knew I felt the pain, but there was no explanation. I knew I was exhausted, but everyone is tired – why would I be any different? The other symptoms? I was overplaying them, complaining too much, imagining them, looking for attention, wasn’t I?

My family and close friends were (and still are) wonderful. They never made me believe that I shouldn’t be feeling what I was experiencing. They tolerated my quirks, such as the hypersensitivity that results in a very strong startle reflex and not being able to stand the feel of certain things against my skin. (It wouldn’t surprise me if the princess in fairy tale The Princess and the Pea had fibromyalgia!) My husband, my children, my friends, all helped me when the pain was bad and the exhaustion overwhelming. But feeling so different and not knowing why takes a toll on a person.

 ~MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU~

Children suffer from chronic pain too

This is a painting I made showing the hope that comes from leaning on someone else and feeling supported no matter what.

“I felt embarrassed by my chronic pain and I absolutely hated it. Some people thought I was faking and even I thought there was something wrong with me, so whenever my Dad would bring it up with people I’d get mad at him. But, it turns out that his talking to all those different people and getting the word out is what actually helped me.

My story traveled across country and people were calling in favors to get me appointments with different doctors. That’s how I found the clinic that ended up saving my life.

Some people are not going to believe you, that’s just the way it is, but then they are not your true friends. You can’t be afraid of that because you never know what might happen if you put yourself out there. If the doctor you have now doesn’t believe you, then change doctors because you need to find one that is behind you 100%. You need one that will support you and take you seriously. Not all doctors are like that.

Most doctors, if they don’t see anything wrong on the x-ray, think there is nothing wrong and you are just being a drama-queen/king. That is not the case. Doctors can not see pain so they have no right to tell you that you are not having it. Find the right doctor and the right support group and you will be golden.”

http://www.teenpainhelp.com/howtofindhelp.html

This website is designed to help you gain a better understanding of your pain. The site contains information to enable you to develop skills and knowledge in the self management of your pain in partnership with your healthcare providers.

You will hear from other people of all ages, just like you and learn how they too have lived with chronic pain. The website has a number of episodes which should be viewed over several days to weeks. If anyone has concerns viewing or reading the material. they should consult their doctor or health professional.

If you are a young person with chronic pain, there’s a youth channel with episodes for you to work through with a range of exercises and useful tips throughout.

http://www.aci.health.nsw.gov.au/chronic-pain/painbytes

I’m not shady, I’m sick

Chronic pain has a ripple effect — not only does it disrupt your life and force you to manage pain, it also changes your personal relationships. Interactions with your spouse, children, family, and friends alter in ways both large and small due to the physical limitations and emotional strain that come from living with chronic pain. Part of pain management involves accepting these changes and using them to form better and closer relationships with the ones you love. You have to be honest with your loved ones by telling them that you will have good days and bad days. Sometimes you will not be able to attend certain events or get together’s. By learning to better cope and being honest, you will be able to manage your pain better and keep friends and family closer.

Stay Strong,

DarcSunshine

I am Chronic pain

Let me introduce myself to you,
I am pain.
Not just pain, but Chronic Pain.
Sometimes I am a hot searing pain,
other times I am a sharp shooting pain,
cutting through you like a knife.
And yet at other times I am like a root canal or toothache, that never goes away.
If left uncontrolled, I will rob you of your humor,
I will rob you of your friends and rob you of your dignity.
I will rob you of your job and make your family miserable.
I will take away from you everything that is dear to you
including your very soul.
You can not see me,
As I am invisible to the human eye.

Therefore one should not judge someone
who knows me on a constant daily basis,
for I do not ever go away.
I do not have any friends,
for if left alone,
I destroy them.
If you think you are safe from me,
Please think more than once.
For I can become a part of you,
as quickly as a snow flake falling from the sky;
as easily as a leaf falling from a tree
or raindrops falling from the sky.

No one wants me as a friend;
Because I Am The Enemy!
Many doctors fear me
for they don’t or won’t treat me!
I am treatable,
but on many times I am not seen
I hide and I lurk in somebodys body,
and many deny I am a part of them;
in fear of being called insane.

Thought for Thursday~To thrive with grace and pace

This is why everyday I choose to find ways to stay positive and that includes sharing it with others. I also know that I am only capable of so much at a time because of my Chronic pain and Mental illnesses. We have to pace ourselves and be realistic, but yet never give up hope and try to always have a positive attitude. I know from experience that this can be incredibly challenging. Lets stick together and STAY STRONG!

CHOICES

I see people laughing and joking all around,

but on my face there is no smile instead there is a frown.

I never laugh anymore instead I cry,
and I never stop to ask myself, “why?”

I heard we live and die by the choices we make,
and there’s only so much a person can take.

so just remember to life goes on,
and it hurt’s when someone leaves and is gone.

so always remember keep your head up,
because another door is opened every time one is shut.

Chronic pain : “I use to be like you”

Diamonds in the Rough

Life is a journey, made up of moments, glances, smiles, friends, family, adventures … and when you’re a special needs parent it’s made up of challenges, trials, and celebrations about even the most minute of those moments.

I haven’t been 100% honest though, because my world not just about being a special needs mom – I also have Fibromyalgia.

So? What the Heck’s the big Deal about having Fibromyalgia?

What this means? Is that I don’t get a simple cold, the sniffles, a day of the flu … I get sick and my immune system plummets and suddenly I am not just dealing with being sick – I’m also in a Fibro flare.

This isn’t a post about what Fibromyalgia is, though that will come – it’s a post about being human.

See, I’m like a lot of moms out there – I take care of my family the best I can, I handle the craziness of life and rise to one challenge after the next. Heck, I’m like a lot of other special needs parents too – I don’t think I’ll ever feel like I’m doing enough, that I’m good enough, to give my kids everything they need. But …

But I refused, for the longest time, to acknowledge just what having Fibromyalgia has cost me – how difficult it is. Oh I’ll admit in the middle of a flare I can host a pity party to rival pity parties. But I still try and do everything, be everything, for this family – even when I’m drowning in obligations and needs – even when my body is desperately kicking me in the ass and telling me I need to take a step back.

That means, that I can be in the middle of a Fibro flare that makes my latest bout of flu look like a picnic and I’ll still be worried about the house, the hubby and the kids – and I’ll still be struggling to keep up as many of my work commitments as I can. I might even worry about this little blog of mine. And I’ll try to keep up with the house and doctor’s visits (for everyone else!) … but at the end of the day when I’m so exhausted that sleeping doesn’t feel like rest I’ll still be pushing to do more.

Turns out that Sometimes your Body Fights Back … Who Knew?

And my body has had enough of it. For months I’ve been struggling to deal with a stupid sinus infection. I’ve been on rounds of antibiotics, tried just about every natural remedy out there – and I can’t beat it. After about a month of ongoing symptoms (and being sick through Christmas!) I realized I was starting to lose my ability to focus, to keep my eyes open even after waking up for the day. My pain levels ratcheted up and I realized I was in a Fibro flare. I’m still, even a month later, trying to deal with this same flare.

The daily struggle to be mom and wife, to handle everything and be everything to everyone … it turns out that sometimes you can keep up the pretense – but somewhere along the line you pay the price.

The price? Exhaustion, inability to focus, sinus symptoms that got worse instead of better, pain, and a household that I was struggling to maintain. I lost clients and had to cut back on working with others. I stepped back from most of my posting here at the Cafe. I lost respect for myself – because I couldn’t do and/or be the person I wanted to be.

I couldn’t keep up. I’m only human, and I have Fibromyalgia  and I’m admitting that I couldn’t do it. I can’t do it. I’ve had to make adjustments — mentally, physically, spiritually — that I never wanted to make.

Now for me there is light at the end of the tunnel – I’ve started taking a different set of supplements and while I’m not better by a long shot, I am beginning to feel better. I have been able to return to working with some of my really amazing clients. I’ve been able to slowly, hesitantly, try to step back into this life of mine, the same life I had to put on hold for months because I just couldn’t do it anymore.

Being human kinda sucks, sometimes

There’s no magic wand to make you instantly better, there’s no rule that says you don’t have to have a chronic condition even though you have three amazingly awesome kids and a  pretty awesome husband counting on you. And it’s not fair.

But that’s part of life, part of accepting this part of my life. I don’t think I really accepted it before — having Fibromyalgia  acknowledging that I had to make changes without feeling like I was giving in to this condition. I have to give myself limits in lieu of giving up. And I have to move on, doing the best I can as I move forward.

So I’m putting this out there, because I think there’s others like me out there – other moms who are having a hard time accepting that they have limitations – that they are only human. And I think there are others who don’t understand what it’s like to have a chronic condition like Fibromyalgia (especially if you are also a special needs parent).

So I have this confession to make – I have Fibromyalgia and I hate it, and I’m just now realizing that I will be dealing with it for the rest of my life. And I hate that too. And I would love to know that I’m not alone – that others out there get this, understand it.

 

 <http://katscafe.org/fibromyalgia-confessions>

Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) and fibromyalgia (FMS) are debilitating and misunderstood chronic illnesses that can strike people of both sexes and all age groups. Partners, friends, and relatives of people with CFS or FMS may feel confused and helpless, not knowing what to say or how to offer support.

Perhaps chronic fatigue syndrome or fibromyalgia has stricken your spouse, your child, your sibling, or a good friend. Whatever the case, it’s difficult for you to see a loved one in such pain. The illness presents new challenges to your relationship, as well. It may also worsen any existing relationship problems.

You want to be positive and helpful, but you don’t know what to do or say. Maybe you’ve tried to be supportive and find that your loved one reacts in frustration. What should you do?

 

First Understand the Condition

Most people know very little, if anything, about CFS and FMS. Both conditions involve much more than “a little fatigue” or “a few aches and pains.” If you have a friend or loved one with one of these conditions, you should learn as much as possible.

Do not invalidate

Sometimes people think that individuals with CFS or FMS are lazy, exaggerating their symptoms, or suffering from a psychiatric condition. They may mistakenly believe that their loved one just needs to push herself a little harder. People with CFS or FMS often feel invalidated

Be supportive 

Chronic illness presents many relationship challenges at a time when comfort and social support are of utmost importance.

~DarcSunshine~

Do you know someone with a Chronic Illness? Why not learn about it?

 

Chronic pain sufferers have attempted numerous alternative therapies and know what therapies have worked or not worked for them. Some people have been misinformed or merely misunderstand the daily battle and quite often unintentionally undermine the sufferer. In the spirit of informing those who wish to understand: These are some things that can help you to understand and help people who suffer from often debilitating, chronic pain.

Chronic pain sufferers spend the majority of their day in considerable pain.We often can’t enjoy things we once did. We remain aware, and desire to do what we used to perform.The chronic pain sufferer feels as if they are stuck inside a body in which they have little or no control. They still want to enjoy work, family, friends and leisure activities, however much pain puts that enjoyment out of reach, which of course leads to depression. Do not assume we are not experiencing pain when we say that we are fine. We attempt to hide the pain due to lack of understanding in others which happens way too often unfortunately . The words we may use to describe our pain is inadequate to what we may actually feel.  Recall a time when you experienced pain, then multiply the intensity and attempt to imagine that pain present twenty-four hours a day, every day, without relief, and then think about this happening for the rest of your life! It’s hard to find the words for that sort of pain. The next best thing that you can do is to listen to us properly, and to make it clear that you both want to hear what needs to be said and that you really have heard it. Use your listening skills to decode what they’re hiding or minimizing.

On a personal note, I have been through not only physical, but emotional pain. The same goes for both trust me. I have dealt with many people that didn’t just not understand, but had no interest in learning about my issues. I have been called many things over the years that hurt, but you know what…that’s life. It made me stronger and who I am today. Eventually you will find someone who wants to understand. Always have hope. Educate yourself!

 ~DarcSunshine~

The guilt that eats at you

I don’t think we should feel guilty about things that aren’t our fault, but I can certainly see how it happens. Feelings are usually the result of thoughts. Whether what we think about is true or not, feelings are still produced. Maybe I’ll always have weak moments with guilt feelings. However, I also fight back against adding guilt to my suffering for me and my childrens sake.

 

~DarcSunshine~

Strength, Courage, and Hope

Never stop learning and speak up!

 

What is Life Long Learning?  Simply, I believe it is the consistent and deep engagement of the mind and body in the active pursuit of knowledge and experience from birth to death. Learning is important because it helps us make informed choices about our own lives and the societies that we live in. It also enables us observe the results and include the feedback into new initiatives. Youth of a Nation has posted topics on Chronic pain, several mental health issues, children’s disabilities, and parenting. As I have said from the beginning, I want this to be an open blog which means your input is more than welcome. I want to learn from you as well.  Youth of a Nation would like some feedback from the community to get an idea about the sort of things you would like to read in our blog posts. My question to you is: are there any topics in particular you would like to see posted in the blog? Are there other categories of articles (besides the ones mentioned above) which we need to focus on more? Maybe you would like to be a guest blogger and write something you would like to contribute. If you are interested in giving a little of your knowledge or just want to share a picture, poem, quote etc…please email me. I would like to thank my followers for supporting me. You all have amazing blogs yourself. I learn from you each and everyday. 

Fibromyalgia – living with a controversial chronic disease

I can’t imagine anyone relishing the idea of being tired, in pain, or suffering from “brain fog” for one day, let alone for months or years. If you have fibromyalgia, this is what you experience on a regular basis. Yet there are people who believe that fibromyalgia doesn’t exist – that it’s a made-up disease with the purpose of appeasing patients, giving their complaints a name.

Incidences of muscle pains characteristic of modern-day fibromyalgia have been documented for centuries, but only in the 1970s did the disease begin receiving serious attention as physicians began to better identify trigger points, inflammation, and fibromyalgia-associated issues such as sleep disorders and irritable bowel. And only in 1987 did the American Medical Association recognize fibromyalgia as “an emerging condition.” But saying it’s a disease and convincing non-believers are two different things.

I’ve been asked what it’s like to have fibromyalgia and, just as it’s difficult to diagnose, it’s difficult to explain. Although I was only diagnosed a few years ago, I can trace the symptoms to my teens. I often experienced unexplained bouts of exhaustion and pain. I never slept well. I had other fibromyalgia-related physical issues, but no one could figure out what was wrong. After a while, I began to believe that it was all in my head. I knew I felt the pain, but there was no explanation. I knew I was exhausted, but everyone is tired – why would I be any different? The other symptoms? I was overplaying them, complaining too much, imagining them, looking for attention, wasn’t I?

My family and close friends were (and still are) wonderful. They never made me believe that I shouldn’t be feeling what I was experiencing. They tolerated my quirks, such as the hypersensitivity that results in a very strong startle reflex and not being able to stand the feel of certain things against my skin. (It wouldn’t surprise me if the princess in fairy tale The Princess and the Pea had fibromyalgia!) My husband, my children, my friends, all helped me when the pain was bad and the exhaustion overwhelming. But feeling so different and not knowing why take a toll on a person.

I did what many with fibromyalgia do. I withdrew into myself. By withdrawing, you minimize your chances of being criticized or attacked by those who don’t understand your “nonexistent” illness. But at the same time, because you are internalizing everything, your symptoms become worse. Your mind plays more games. And the cycle continues.

I cried when my rheumatologist told me I had fibromyalgia. I told him I wasn’t crying because I had it, I was crying because I finally had validation – that this was real. My pain was real. My illness was real. He told me that many patients react the same way. How sad.

A year ago, I began a project called 101 Questions About Fibromyalgia. I asked friends and colleagues for questions, either from the point of view of having fibromyalgia or loving someone who does. I received some great questions but I also received a long e-mail from an editor whom I had never met. Her angry e-mail outlined exactly why fibromyalgia doesn’t exist, point for point, but she also told me that if having a name for my illness made me feel better about myself, then it was OK with her.

This is why many people with fibromyalgia don’t speak out. There is no such anger against people who say they have diabetes or cancer or Crohn’s disease – but it’s acceptable to brush off, deny, or criticize a claim that you have fibromyalgia.

Living with any invisible illness can be difficult. Living with one that still is not accepted by many is so much harder.

Marijke Vroomen Durning, RN, is a health writer based in Montreal, Canada. She is a contributor at Forbes.com, HealthDay News, and other outlets. Find her on Twitter @MarijkeD.

– See more at: http://scopeblog.stanford.edu/2013/08/13/fibromyalgia-living-with-a-controversial-chronic-disease/#sthash.sxcESGws.dpuf