Inspirational Monday~To be grateful

Trials and suffering can actually refine and deepen gratefulness if we allow them to show us not to take things for granted. when times are good, people take prosperity for granted and begin to believe that they are invulnerable. In times of uncertainty, though, people realize how powerless they are to control their own destiny. If you begin to see that everything you have, everything you have counted on, may be taken away, it becomes much harder to take it for granted. So crisis can make us more grateful—but research says gratitude also helps us cope with crisis. Consciously cultivating an attitude of gratitude builds up a sort of psychological immune system that can cushion us when we fall. There is scientific evidence that grateful people are more resilient to stress, whether minor everyday hassles or major personal upheavals.

“When something disappointing happened, my mother would remind me not to let that become my focus. There’s still so much to be grateful for.”

Katherine Heigl

Be proud of who you are

“Being yourself is one of the hardest things because it’s scary. You always wonder whether you’ll be accepted for who you really are. I decided to call my record ‘Inside Out’ because that’s my motto about life. I don’t think you ever succeed at trying to be anyone else but who you truly are.”

~Emmy Rossum~

Light the way for others with your wisdom

“In a futile attempt to erase our past, we deprive the community of our healing gift. If we conceal our wounds out of fear and shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become a light for others.”
~Brennan Manning~

The “DO’S” of Parenting

Do have faith in your children

Parents want their kids to work harder and do better, so they plan more activities and lessons to fill up their “free time.” What’s too bad is that in doing so, they create a world in which children are under tremendous pressure to excel all the time. When children are pushed to excel, they never get to experience the wonderful lessons that are learned from failure.

It is fairly easy to guide our children to becoming the kind of people we think they should be. All we need is some vision, some recollection of our own experience, some vigilance, and our natural parental gift of lecturing. But it’s a very different piece of business to help our children find the happiness that comes with discovering where they belong in life. For that, we need faith.

Not the faith that kids won’t fail—because they will. And not the faith that they won’t make stupid decisions—because they will. Rather, faith in their resilience. This resilience comes from the wisdom our children have always had—but don’t know they have until they need it. And ultimately, resilience comes from the gift of life itself; we get wounded and then we heal. It is inevitable.

Do experience love

It seems as if the more we let go, the more we experience love. Love is beyond everything else—anxiety, desire, hope, and resentment. Love is openhearted, demands nothing and needs nothing. It is more likely to visit when our desires are quiet, when we don’t need or want much, and when we accept that everything we love is not permanent, but it with us at this very moment.

Do listen to your kids

Adults live such fast-paced lives. We are so caught up in our own concerns and insecurities that many times we don’t even hear what our children are trying to tell us. We may hear the words, but too often, we miss the meaning. This has been described as “drive-by parenting.”

If we want to really hear our children, we need to take time to first listen to ourselves. Only then can we listen to them. The more you listen, the more your kids will speak to you. If you listen with an open heart, your kids will speak with an open heart. And in turn, this will help you both to learn to care deeply about each other.

Do understand your inability to protect kids from everything

Parents try hard to protect their kids and make everything right for them, but we can’t. The truth is, they are on their own paths—not ours. But children are wonderfully adaptive. They can handle much more than we give them credit for. They can teach us about adaptation, healing and devotion—if we listen.

Find delight in watching your kids and understand your inability to protect them from the world. Love is much easier when we have faith in our children’s resilient spirit.

“Your children can be around you all day, but if you don’t spend quality time with them and you don’t pay attention to them and talk to them and listen to them, it doesn’t matter that they’re just around you.”

~Brandy Norwood~

Girl interrupted

Girl interrupted quotes are short and sound pretty simple, but people can find very deep meaning behind it which can be great inspiration for us all. Many of us can feel so down in our life and it is a kind of feeling which can happen to every human being. Sometimes we think that we are hopeless, but we can find increased hope by simple words arranged beautifully in a quote. Susanne Kaysen has some beautiful quotes which might lead to great inspiration for us in Girl, Interrupted.

“Was I ever crazy? Maybe. Or maybe life is… Crazy isn’t being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. They were not perfect, but they were my friends.”
― Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted

“Scar tissue has no character. It’s not like skin. It doesn’t show age or illness or pallor or tan. It has no pores, no hair, no wrinkles. It’s like a slip cover. It shields and disguises what’s beneath. That’s why we grow it; we have something to hide. ”
― Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted

“Crazy isn’t being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever.”
― Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted

“The point is, the brain talks to itself, and by talking to itself changes its perceptions. To make a new version of the not-entirely-false model, imagine the first interpreter as a foreign correspondent, reporting from the world. The world in this case means everything out- or inside our bodies, including serotonin levels in the brain. The second interpreter is a news analyst, who writes op-ed pieces. They read each other’s work. One needs data, the other needs an overview; they influence each other. They get dialogues going.

INTERPRETER ONE: Pain in the left foot, back of heel.
INTERPRETER TWO: I believe that’s because the shoe is too tight.
INTERPRETER ONE: Checked that. Took off the shoe. Foot still hurts.
INTERPRETER TWO: Did you look at it?
INTERPRETER ONE: Looking. It’s red.
INTERPRETER TWO: No blood?
INTERPRETER ONE: Nope.
INTERPRETER TWO: Forget about it.
INTERPRETER ONE: Okay.

Mental illness seems to be a communication problem between interpreters one and two.

The way you spend your time is the way you spend your life

“Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.”

~Carl Sandburg~

The first step to spending your time on the right things is to be aware of how you currently spend your time.

Imagine for a moment that you’re sitting alone on your bed, You’re a 100 years old. Your weak, tired and you know the end is near.

You ask yourself the question of questions: “How did I live my life?”

It’s impossible to answer that question without reflecting on how you spent your time.

Would it be good idea to start reflecting on how you spend your time a little earlier than on your death-bed?

I think so and here’s what happens when you do:

• You become aware of the choices you make
• You make different choices
• You spend your time differently
• Your life becomes different

“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.”

The mask we wear

I was once sad and lonely,
Having nobody to comfort me,
So I wore a mask that always smiled;
To hide my feelings behind a lie.

Before long, I had many friends;
With my mask, I was one of them.
But deep inside, I still felt empty,
Like I was missing a part of me.

Nobody could hear my cries at night
For I designed my mask to hide the lies.
Nobody could see the pain I was feeling
For I designed my mask to be laughing.

Behind all the smiles were the tears
And behind all the comfort were the fears.
Everything you think you see,
Wasn’t everything there was to me.

In the blink of an eye…

“Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”

~Miguel Angel Ruiz~

Embrace your purpose

Changing your life for the better is questioned by many people as they ponder the reasons for their existence. Life is the expression of the Reason for being. The Reason represents the intelligence that is within all things. For example, it is the power within a seed, when planted in the garden, grows step by step to the fulfillment of its reason for being. Everything has a purpose, a time and a season. Autumn is a wonderful example of the fulfillment of many plants as we enjoy the abundance of fruits and vegetables that are harvested at this time in the cycles or seasons of life.

The question of changing your life for the better is answered by finding the real you which is your inner purpose. In order to feel more fulfilled and find the path to sustainable happiness, we follow our passions and purpose. But what is your purpose in life? I believe this is the question we ask over and over within ourselves. Throughout our lives, we fit into different roles . Each comes with different responsibilities  —  from the role of a child, to a sibling, a student, a friend, an employee, a boss, a lover, and a parent; from the role of a student to an employee, a manager, a director  —  the list goes on and on.

And if you haven’t noticed…

At each stage of our lives, we define our purpose in life based on the role we have, in which its responsibilities define how fulfilled we feel at the time.

Our ability to fulfill the role we partake the best we can becomes our purpose. Our inability to fulfill as such becomes our failure. These role-based purposes in life that change over time as we go through different stages in life affect how we feel  —  how happy we feel.

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

Everyday is a fight with Chronic pain

“Pain was not given thee merely to be miserable under; learn from it, turn it to account.” – Thomas Carlyle

When one is in very great pain and fear, it is extremely difficult to pray coherently, and I could only raise my mind in anguish to God and ask for strength to hold on.” – Sheila Cassidy

Whomever said, “No Pain, No Gain” never had chronic pain! by Amanda Lakso (ME)

Remember to never give up!

“The minute you think of giving up, remember the reason why you held on for so long.”

Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.”  

      ~Eckhart Tolle

Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” 

~Elly Roselle

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.”

~Bruce Lee

I know, I know. It’s hard to give up your past. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”

~Buddha

Climb back up from rock bottom

“Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will.”

– W Clement Stone

At some point, many of us end up at the lowest low in our life. Nothing seems to work. Nothing is enjoyable. There’s resistance everywhere. Just remember that there’s always a creative way to get back on path. And don’t ever forget – we are far more resilient than we think. When you’re rebuilding life from the ground up, every day is filled with chaos. So one of the key things to do for yourself is to create a “happiness” ritual. It will add predictability and stability into your life. Think of some of the things that you used to love and take joy in and start there. When you begin to remember them, start to use them to start you “ritual”. Be very aware and conscious of everything you do. You will find that there are certain things that could set you off of your path to regaining yourself and happiness. Try to replace those things with something new you might not have done before. You would be surprised to find that things you might not have been a custom to or tried before just might be one of the things missing in your life. There is no such thing as a perfect life and there will still be many obstacles along the way, but it’s how you react to them that will count. If you do not try to take control of your life, you will never be able to find that happiness you are longing for. I am writing this post now because I need to take control and be the person I want to be again. So lets do it together- Climb back up from rock bottom one step at a time with me.

Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.

~Muhammad Ali~

The importance of living in the present

True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach, we just haven’t realized that. The only person who can hurt your happiness in the long run is YOU. Pursuing the things we do not have / the needs we want to satisfy with the attempt to experience happiness and fulfillment through them is a never ending race, without being able to feel true happiness and fulfillment, even when achieving the targeted goals.You will see that as soon as we satisfied one need another need will start to arise, leaving us behind unsatisfied, unfulfilled or not happy. I believe that you shouldn’t make your own happiness dependent on the achievement of the things you currently do not have. Living in the moment, however, allows you to be truly grateful for the wonderful things you have in this very moment, no matter if it is health or the fact that you have a lovely family. You are already able to appreciate and love the very moment, which makes you happy. Furthermore, it helps you to realize that the pursuit of material things or needs with the attempt to find fulfillment and happiness will fail and end in a viscous circle.

“All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are caused by too much future and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.”

My love for Alice in Wonderland

One of my favorite movies/book is Disney’s Alice in Wonderland, so I thought I would share some quotes from the movie. I hope you enjoy them. 🙂

Alice: Oh, but that’s nonsense. Flowers can’t talk.

The Rose: But of course we can talk, my dear.

Orchid: If there’s anyone around worth talking to.

Daisy: Or about.

**********

Alice: Oh dear, everything is *so* confusing.

Caterpillar: It is not.

Alice: Well, it is to me.

Caterpillar: Why?

Alice: Well, I can’t remember things like I used to, and…

Caterpillar: Recite.

**********

Alice: Well, when one’s lost, I suppose it’s good advice to stay where you are, until someone finds you. But who’d ever think to look for me here?

[sigh]

Alice: Good advice. If I listened earlier, I wouldn’t be here. But that’s just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice.

[sings]

Alice: But I very seldom follow it. That explains the trouble that I’m always in. Be patient, is very good advice, but the waiting makes me curious. And I’d love the change. Should something strange begin?

[begins to cry]

Alice: Well… I went along my merry way, and I never stopped to reason. I should’ve known there’d be a price to pay, someday… Someday… I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it!

[cries harder]

Alice: Will I ever learn to do the things I should?

[continues crying]

**********

Alice: If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn’t be, and what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?

Wisdom from Einstein

A human being is a part of the whole, called by us “Universe”, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security.

A little Saturday Inspiration

Trust yourself~Quote of the day

“Trust yourself, you know more than you think you do.”

~Benjamin Spock~

Mistakes made can make great opportunity

“People screw up. People screw up a lot. We allow our own selfishness to overpower us at times. It happens. But you can’t allow that to tear you down. You can’t keep dwelling on your past choices, and your past actions, or else you’ll never learn from them.”

~Nicole Sobon, Deprogrammed~

Never accept defeat…don’t give up!

Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.

 ~Richard M. Nixon~

 

On one hand, we know that everything happens for a reason, and there are no mistakes or coincidences. On the other hand, we learn that we can never give up, knowing that with the right tools and energy, we can reverse any decree or karma. So, which is it? Let the Light decide, or never give up? The answer is: both.

~Yehuda Berg~

 

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

 

~Harriet Beecher Stowe~

 

Stay Strong, 

DarcSunshine

Nobody is perfect

“How would your life be different if…You stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…You look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free