It’s the struggle that brings us closer and closer together. It’s communicating and overcoming adversity that makes the relationship stronger, deeper and more long-lasting. But on the flip side, shouldn’t relationships also be fun? Shouldn’t you feel maddening joy and happiness around this person you’re choosing to share your life with? Shouldn’t you miss them when they’re not around and have an array of fun things you want to do with them? It has to be a balance. You don’t want to work on something that makes you miserable more often then it makes you happy. You have to measure the pros and cons and decide if it’s worth it to dedicate so much time to the relationship. You don’t want to be with someone who makes you feel small or awful, and if you’re crying more than you’re smiling or stressed out more than you’re content then you may have an unfixable problem. But you also want someone who challenges you and makes you think and who will fight for their opinions. You don’t want a dead fish. But do you really need to be wasting so much time arguing?