Talking with an Introvert

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I often find people get irritated with my style of speech.

As an Introvert, I don’t talk to people that often. I only talk to the very few I love and trust. When I do talk to others, sometimes I actually rant, rave and go off on tangents to get to my point. I think it’s because I am getting it all out of my system and many extroverts don’t like waiting for me to finish my point, so they interrupt me. In turn, I often interrupt back and they scream “let me finish”, which is exactly how I feel but I think they are being rude. I prefer to express myself through writing. It gives me a chance to pause and reflect. There have been many times I watch people frustrated with talking with me. I know they are thinking I’m strange. Boring. Off topic. Too deep…and so on. On the flip side, I’m very well versed in the human condition, I can feel exactly what people are thinking even though they don’t say it. I’m good at reading between the lines and actually sense the tension or pleasure. This can be overwhelming for me since I always know how one feels about me.

Put simply, I frustrate people.

I’m different so, it confuses them and they insist I need fixing. In actual fact, I don’t. Every time this happens I become more cautious and less social. In part, this is not a bad thing as long as you take each interaction as a learning experience.

How do you deal with people when they clearly don’t respect how you are?

Here are ten myths about Introverts:

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

Let me know how you feel about this topic by either being a guest blogger and emailing me at youthofanationblog@gmail.com or simply commenting. We need you to help us with our goal in educating, supporting, and fighting together!

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12 thoughts on “Talking with an Introvert

  1. What a great post! I can totally relate, such an introvert here 😉

    Like

  2. I may have been an introvert in my teens; I think so… I became eventually an ambi-vert; preferring neither solitude nor company one more so than the other.

    Being myself that is true to my truth, I am free of choice.

    It happens sometimes.

    Blessings.
    ~ Eric

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    • I believe nowadays I am more of a Ambivert as well. I would love it if you would do a guest blog about his or any topic for that matter. I like the way you think;) Thanks for commenting!

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  3. A very interesting post. As humans we are different from each other and we all need to learn to respect other people for being honest enough to just be themselves. And remember not to judge either, not other or ourselves.
    Thanks for sharing.
    Irene

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  4. Those are all definitely me.

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  5. This is a great blog! Yes it’s how it is!

    Like

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